Wednesday, March 21, 2007

This Just In...

Playground Rules

WASHINGTON, March 21, 2007
(IRFH) President Bush invoked the “I Know You Are, But What Am I?” defense this week in response to the Federal Prosecutor Firings (FPF) scandal, labeling congressional efforts to determine whether the firings of eight federal prosecutors were based entirely on partisan politics as “partisan politics.” Washington insiders have speculated that this move may perhaps signal a change in overall Whitehouse Scandal-Response Tactics (WSRTs), which until this week were primarily “I’m Rubber And You’re Glue, Whatever You Say Bounces Off Of Me And Sticks To You”-based. One senior administration official who refused to be named for this article claimed that the administration is rapidly running out of official “Bouncers” to rebuke the President’s detractors, while another unnamed source attributes the switch primarily to Bush’s difficulty remembering whether he’s supposed to represent rubber or glue.

Though Congress has yet to respond officially, one unidentified Senator was overheard confiding to his Personal Hollywood Lobbyist (PHL) that the Republicans should anticipate being put in a very long time out.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

...But Maybe Armageddon Will Be Cute

Some say the world will end in fire...

Friday, March 9, 2007

Monday, March 5, 2007

Hoof In Mouth Disease

Other terms Ann Coulter won't be using to refer to John Edwards:

  • Articulate
  • President
  • Babydaddy
  • Sugartits McJewsalot

Thursday, March 1, 2007