Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Totally Childish Time Machine Hacks

  • Travel to: 1895. Hack: The Time Machine, by H.G. Wells. Mod: Add brief descriptive text about the “Flux Capacitor”
  • Travel to: 1936. Hack: The international broadcast of the Berlin Olympic Games. Mod: Shave one side of Hitler’s moustache
  • Travel to: The Beginning. Hack: Everything. Mod: This is the way the world starts. Not with a Big Bang, but with a Big Whimper
  • Travel to: 1184 BC. Hack: The Trojan Horse. Mod: Paint “For her pleasure” on horse’s ribs
  • Travel to: 1812. Hack: Napoléon Bonaparte. Mod: Crazy glue right hand to chest. Short sheet his cot (will have to be very, very short)
  • Travel to: July 20, 1969. Hack: The Apollo 11 moon landing. Mod: Stick Suction Cup Garfield Plush to inside window. Attach “My Other Vehicle is a Lunar Rover, Bitch” bumper sticker. Change “Apollo 11” to “Capricorn One.” Replace Tang with Folgers Crystals
  • Travel to: Sept. 11, 2001. Hack: The Pet Goat. Mod: Change title to My Pet Goatse. Replace text with mirror. When Bush spreads the covers, the asshole in the middle will be clear.

5 comments:

Kevan who? said...

This is quite the To Do list. I especially like the prank you’re planning for Napoleon. He’ll never see it coming. If blogging still exists in the alternate universe you create after all these changes have been implemented, can you please notify us? Do your best, anyway – I suspect we’ll have a tough time believing that some guy is claiming responsibility for major aspects of seven well-documented, well-known, unconnected historical events.

IRFH said...

I suspect we’ll have a tough time believing that some guy is claiming responsibility for major aspects of seven well-documented, well-known, unconnected historical events.

Yeah - I already have a hard time convincing people that I was responsible for line dancing.

Robin said...

SO IT WAS YOU!!!!

IRFH said...

SO IT WAS YOU!!!!

For most values of "IT," yes.

Kevan who? said...

Yeah - I already have a hard time convincing people that I was responsible for line dancing.

I blame it on the crowd. Most line dancing enthusiasts I've encountered shy away from historical-origin arguments, and instead prefer to spend all the spare time they can get practicing their steps to Dwight Yoakum's cover of "Crazy Little Thing Called Love."