A Very Blogger Christmas

The Last Post Before Christmas

Twas the last post before Christmas, when all through the land,
The atheists plotted to have Christmas banned,
According to talk show hosts, spreading the Yule love,
In hopes that their savior would make them more moola.

The Dems and the Lobbyists were hurriedly making their beds (together),
While visions of Hillary '08 haunted Republican heads.
With Ma at her scrapbook, I sat down to blog,
Armed with barrels of clichés and 90 proof nog.

While out on the tubes I dodged Britney's cooter,
It was behind every address, on every computer.
In windows and tabs, on YouTube and Flash,
It made my soul shudder, it made my snow crash.

But with filters and blockers I finally managed
To get back to surfing with minimum damage.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear?
Damnit, Britney – I don't want to see your underwear, either!

Yadda, yadda, yadda…

The term's "morbidly obese," not "pleasingly curvy."
Now finish your veggies. You're going to get scurvy.

Yadda, yadda, yadda…

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a high click-through rate!