Kids These Days...

If you're like me (and you're not), it might be getting a little hard to tell just who all those little bastards are out there messing up your lawn. For a scorecard to keep the players straight, try yourscenesucks.com.

Other Lists

Kriegs List

• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Metal_ist_Krieg
• http://www.kriegartstudio.com/
• http://www.flickr.com/photos/tags/krieg/interesting/
• http://www.dp9.com/Worlds/GK.htm
• http://www.carolynkrieg.com/

Greg’s List

• Marcia
• Marcia
• Marcia

Grieg’s List

• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piano_Concerto_(Grieg)
• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peer_Gynt
• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lyric_Pieces

Kegs List

• http://www.kegs.com/

A Very Special Webisode

Johnny was a Mouth-breather

I've got a touch of the crud going on, and have been gulping my food in spastic, rapid-fire fashion, then jamming it down my throat with a candy-coated ramrod, due to excessive mucus buildup (as opposed to my usual habit of gulping my food in spastic, rapid-fire fashion, then jamming it down my throat with a candy-coated ramrod, due to sheer gluttony). Having been temporarily reduced to mouth-breathing and phlegmy Bea Arthur as Gollum^Flash impressions, I was reminded of a question that's been vaguely niggling at me for some time: Why all the mouth-breather hate? How exactly did "mouth-breather" become synonymous with "idiot"? So I Googled, and found the following:

mouth-breather n. a stupid person; a moron, dolt, imbecile.
Related: English, Derogatory, Slang

Editorial Note: The original definition of mouth-breather referred to a person that, due to medical problems (usually with the sinuses or nose), was forced to breath via the mouth. This leaves the jaw hanging open at most times, which has a tendency to make a person look dopey or spacey.

via Double-Toungued.Org

True confessions time: I started life out as a mouth-breather. In fact, I was about ten when I first discovered that most people normally breathe through their noses. My family was driving past the scene of a senseless hit-and-run skunk slaughter, and everyone was complaining. I said what's the big deal, yo? If something smells bad, don't smell. I thought noses were just for smelling, and it took an actual effort to use them. Several doctor-appointments later and I had my adenoids and tonsils removed. End result? My mouth-breather stigma was history. (Naturally, I had to get my first pair of glasses later the same year. Buddy Holly glasses, long before they became hipster-retro chic. So that year was a wash for me, style-wise.)

So what did we learn today? "Mouth-breather" is an insensitive term for stupid people. The correct term is "retard".

Note: Be sure to click the Gollum^Flash link. Really.

Gift Ideas, Part 2

When all else fails, say it with velvet:

Jon Benet, from the "American Tabloid Heroes Collection" at http://www.velvetpaintings.com/.

Or - Have yourself immortalized - without all the fuss of actually doing anything special.

The Custom Elvis Make-Over at The Velvet Store. It'd be a blue Christmas without you... as Elvis.

Gift Ideas, Part 1

A few gift ideas for those special, hard-to-shop-for someones, like the punks, goths, and cat lovers in your lives:

Plus so, so, so much more!!! From Custom Creature Taxidermy Arts.