Rain Shadow People: lists

Showing posts with label lists. Show all posts

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Shut the damned door and turn off the furnace! What are you trying to do - heat up the whole outdoors?!
Stop eating so many energy bars
Recycle plastic - Melt down Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan to make next year's celebutants
Don't wear the black dress
Stick lumps of coal up ass; make diamonds

Travel to: 1895. Hack: The Time Machine, by H.G. Wells. Mod: Add brief descriptive text about the “Flux Capacitor”
Travel to: 1936. Hack: The international broadcast of the Berlin Olympic Games. Mod: Shave one side of Hitler’s moustache
Travel to: The Beginning. Hack: Everything. Mod: This is the way the world starts. Not with a Big Bang, but with a Big Whimper
Travel to: 1184 BC. Hack: The Trojan Horse. Mod: Paint “For her pleasure” on horse’s ribs
Travel to: 1812. Hack: Napoléon Bonaparte. Mod: Crazy glue right hand to chest. Short sheet his cot (will have to be very, very short)
Travel to: July 20, 1969. Hack: The Apollo 11 moon landing. Mod: Stick Suction Cup Garfield Plush to inside window. Attach “My Other Vehicle is a Lunar Rover, Bitch” bumper sticker. Change “Apollo 11” to “Capricorn One.” Replace Tang with Folgers Crystals
Travel to: Sept. 11, 2001. Hack: The Pet Goat. Mod: Change title to My Pet Goatse. Replace text with mirror. When Bush spreads the covers, the asshole in the middle will be clear.

Other terms Ann Coulter won't be using to refer to John Edwards:

Top ten lists are teh lame
What blog?
Not enough nudity
Not registered, don't want to comment anonymously, and don't care about anything here, anyway
Never forgave me for that thing I did/said that one time back in the day
Don't want to encourage me
Your comments are trapped in Nigeria
Too busy spreading Democracy
In your day, you had to walk ten miles in the snow for a comment – and you liked it!
Never learned to type with one hand

Kriegs List

Greg’s List

Grieg’s List

Kegs List