If The Internet Were On TV: The Equations

Boing Boing: Space Ghost Coast to Coast + 60 Minutes + Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip + McGyver = The A-Team. Well, The B-Team, anyway. Either way: RIAA? You better watch your backs, fools!

Suicide Girls: America’s Next Top Model + Attack of the Show! + The Real World = The Apprentice. Is it exploitation or empowerment? Who cares. If you’re not 17–36, conventionally unconventional and hawt, you’re fired!

Wil Wheaton dot Net (WWdN: In Exile): My Name is Earl + Family Matters + Celebrity Poker Showdown + Wheel of Fortune (I’d like to buy another “L”, Pat) = Max Headroom

Google = TV Guide

YouTube: America’s Funniest Home Videos + Nova + Public Access Television + Jackass = The Gong Show

Fark: The Gong Show + WrestleMania = When Animals Attack

MetaFilter: Mythbusters + The McLaughlin Group + The Soup + American Idol + Antiques Roadshow + Talk Sex with Sue Johanson = The Simpsons. Or Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader? I can’t decide. Maybe both, I guess. So what's The Simpsons + Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader? Ah. Got it. MetaFilter = South Park. I should have known. You bastards!

Nature Abhors A Vacuum Cleaner Salesman

Top 10 Reasons You Haven’t Been Commenting On My Blog

• Top ten lists are teh lame
• What blog?
• Not enough nudity
• Not registered, don't want to comment anonymously, and don't care about anything here, anyway
• Never forgave me for that thing I did/said that one time back in the day
• Don't want to encourage me
• Your comments are trapped in Nigeria
• Too busy spreading Democracy
• In your day, you had to walk ten miles in the snow for a comment – and you liked it!
• Never learned to type with one hand

Living in Denial